In fourth grade I was not the most popular kid, shocker. I wore a lot of elastic stirrup pants. Our schedule was messed up for some reason because I was in the red-headed step child class(no offense red heads or step children). My class ate lunch really late so we were provided a snack time.
One day I had purchased a pack of starburst from the school vending machine, which is super surprising because I always got Gardettos snack mix (saving the best for last - rye chips, duh). During snack time this particular day we were sitting on the floor listening to a story or some lesson. I happily chomped down my starburst just as you would expect a pudgy little fourth grader to do. Nearing the end of the pack I carefully unwrapped an unknowingly wily piece. I popped it into my mouth and began to chew, the juicy flavors swishing in my mouth, when suddenly this fruity candy jumped out, flying in the air. As any good super Nintendo player, I had excellent eye-hand coordination, and went to catch this roaming sugary mass. However, for some reason this piece was particularly bouncy. It hit my hand and bounded right out directly into the miniscule gap in the back of a girls pants in front of me (clearly not wearing elastic stirrup pants). Talk about being astonished. I shockingly surveyed the room to find that sense of camaraderie one looks for when something amazing happens. Yet no one else was reacting so I was left alone in awe. As the lesson finished up I debated thoroughly on whether or not to tell this girl what had just occurred. While I am typically one to save face, for some reason I couldn't help but think when this girl finds a chewed piece of candy in her pants she is going to be completely and utterly dumbfounded. So after the lesson I half laughed and whole embarrassed informed this girl that chewed starburst had leapt into her pants. Directly in front of me she angrily shoved her hand down her slacks and retrieved it.
The next day I purchased Gardettos.
You're welcome.
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